


Beauty Is Skin Deep

by cybercandy



Series: Beauty Is Skin Deep [1]
Category: 30 Seconds to Mars
Genre: Angst, M/M, Weight Issues, blatant hints at incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-09
Updated: 2012-07-09
Packaged: 2017-11-09 12:49:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/455626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cybercandy/pseuds/cybercandy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So maybe Shannon has put on a little weight recently, but surely that's not the reason why Jared doesn't want to sleep with him anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beauty Is Skin Deep

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the prompt  
>  _42 Ways to break up with someone: I gained weight and you are shallow._

“Are you sure you want to eat this?”

Jared leans against the kitchen counter and Shannon’s hand stops halfway towards his mouth. He takes a quick look at the cake in his hand, checking it for anything that would make eating it questionable, but it looks like a perfectly acceptable slice of cake to Shannon and he can see no reason why it shouldn’t have made friends with his mouth about half a minute ago. 

Shannon has a feeling that he’ll regret this decision, but he asks nevertheless. “Why?”

“Because… um… you’ve put on a bit of weight recently” Jared says, looking pointedly at Shannon’s stomach.

Shannon gazes down and doesn’t quite see what Jared is referring to, his stomach still looks absolutely fine to him. So maybe he’s put on a bit of weight, it seems to creep up much faster now that he’s getting older, and maybe his tight jeans have been a bit tighter recently, which is why Shannon is currently wearing a loose-fitting pair of harem pants. He has some time off for the first time in months, no hard-core workout drumming every night like when they are on tour and he’s quite happy to just enjoy being lazy for a while. If this means gaining a few pounds, so be it, the weight will come off when he starts practicing again. To cut things short, Shannon is not particularly worried, but Jared seems to be. 

Jared continues to stare at Shannon’s midsection, making him feel slightly uncomfortable.

“I’ll start working out in a week or so. Can I please eat my cake now?”

The cake finally makes contact with Shannon’s taste buds and it’s just as good as he has imagined it to be. Maybe even more so because he had to fight for it. Jared huffs, grabs his fruit salad and heads outside.

Shannon gets a few more dirty looks over the course of the following week. It’s as if Jared is watching his every move and in addition has developed the disturbing tendency to sidle up next to him every damn time Shannon is in the kitchen, watching him eat just to make him feel guilty. Jared even goes so far as taping a sheet of paper onto the fridge listing the calories in Shannon’s favourite foods. It doesn’t stop Shannon eating, though, because unlike his brother he doesn’t think that an avocado a day is sufficient sustenance and just because he knows how many calories there are in the beer he’s drinking, it doesn’t make it less tasty.

After a while Jared stops nagging and Shannon hopes that he has finally dropped the subject. Jared doesn’t follow him around anymore but is suspiciously busy instead, especially when Shannon wants Jared to come to bed with him. Shannon finds it hard to believe that this is the same Jared that has been all over him on tour, couldn’t keep his fingers off Shannon when they were alone and sometimes even if they weren’t, which almost got them into trouble a few times. Now he seems to shrink back when Shannon tries to draw him into a hug, touching Shannon suddenly is a foreign concept. The few times Shannon manages to drag Jared into bed it feels like Jared’s mind is elsewhere, he’s just going through the motions to get it over and done with as quickly as possible and he doesn’t stay in Shannon’s bed afterwards but sneaks off into his room when he thinks Shannon has fallen asleep. Once or twice Jared only crawls into Shannon’s bed after Shannon has already turned off the light because he has given up on getting laid.

Eventually they stop having sex altogether. Shannon just accepts it, remembers that they go through phases like this occasionally, which isn’t so bad because ultimately Jared always comes back to him. Doesn’t mean that Shannon can’t get his kicks elsewhere, which is why he is getting ready to go out with his friends. He has invited Jared along half-heartedly, but as expected his brother has politely declined because he wants to have a quiet night in. 

The house is dark when Shannon gets back, it is past 2 in the morning and Jared usually goes to bed around midnight. Shannon toes off his shoes and pads upstairs, trying to be as quiet as possible to not wake Jared. When he walks past Jared’s room he finds the door slightly ajar, which is not unusual because Jared likes to hear when Shannon comes home, just to know that he is back safe. Shannon steps a bit closer to take a quick peek at Jared, he looks so peaceful and relaxed when he’s asleep, which is about the only time Jared relaxes _ever_. He almost doesn’t notice the shape stretched out next to his brother because he is not expecting anyone to be there considered that Jared seems to have gone off having sex recently. As it turns out Jared has only gone off having sex with _Shannon_ , because the guy lying next to him is naked and Shannon is positive that Jared doesn’t invite strangers for sleep-overs just because he needs someone to keep him warm.

It’s wrong and it probably makes him a bit of a creep, but Shannon can’t resist carefully sneaking further into Jared’s room to take a closer look at whoever Jared has spent the evening with. The guy is on his back, lower part of his body barely covered by the blanket because Jared is hogging most of it curled up on the other side of the bed. Shannon feels a twinge of jealousy when he sees how pretty the stranger is, almost as perfect as Jared and just as skinny, all flat stomach and toned muscles. It takes a few seconds for the realisation to hit, but then it hits hard and Shannon barely makes it to his bathroom before he throws up his dinner. 

Shannon wakes up late the following morning to the familiar noise of Jared pottering around in the kitchen. There is no trace of Jared’s guest when Shannon walks in to get a coffee and he assumes that Jared has kicked the guy out at the earliest possibility. Jared messes about with their fancy coffee machine and does his best to avoid Shannon’s gaze. Shannon isn’t sure if that is because Jared is feeling guilty or if he can’t bear to look at his fat older brother.

“How was your night?” Shannon enquires, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

“T’was alright. Finished some stuff ‘n watched a movie” Jared answers, taking intense interest in the apple he is cutting up.

Shannon knows he should leave it at that, get out with his pride intact and maybe bring it up some other time when he’s not tired and hungover. But his stomach is churning at the thought of Jared so blatantly lying to him.

“I know you had someone over last night” Shannon blurts out, watching Jared tense up.

“I… it was just… it was nothing…” he stammers and Shannon can almost see the thoughts rushing through that pretty little head, desperately trying to come up with a feasible explanation.

“I’m pretty sure it was nothing if you kick him out before dawn” Shannon mutters sarcastically, then adds “am I really that repulsive?” 

It comes out before Shannon can bite his tongue, sounding more hurt than he’d like it to. He glares at Jared who still can’t look him in the eyes. Jared seems to shrink into himself and Shannon almost feels sorry for him. Almost. 

“I… just don’t find you attractive anymore. You’re… all... flabby…” he splutters.

“Hey, I’ve put on a few pounds, mainly the ones I have lost on tour. But I’m still the same person, Jared. I thought after all these years you might care about my inner values?”

Shannon could swear there are tears welling up in Jared’s eyes when he looks at him.

“I can’t _fuck_ your inner values” Jared blurts out and runs out of the kitchen and up the stairs to his room. 

Shannon has to lean on the edge of the counter to stop his head from spinning, but it doesn’t work. He feels bile rising up, it’s burning a hole through his stomach all the way up to his throat and it takes all his strength to swallow it down.

No matter what Jared looked like, Shannon has always been attracted to him, even before they gave in to their feelings and started having sex years ago. He wanted him when he was stick-thin and too worn out to be coherent when he was filming _Requiem_ and he wanted him when he put on all the weight for _Chapter 27_. It was Jared that completely withdrew from Shannon during that time, claiming he wasn’t feeling well, avoiding all contact despite Shannon’s offers to just hold him, help him. Jared almost jumped Shannon once he had recovered from the ordeal of losing weight and was back to his usual skinny self, damn near desperate to fuck, get touched and touch. They had sex everywhere in the house, only stopping to eat and sleep, Shannon is sure he never had more sex in such a short amount of time, not even when he had discovered wanking when he was 11. Looking back knowing what he has just discovered, Shannon thinks it’s very likely that Jared had been so desperate because he was so disgusted by his own overweight body that he hadn’t even wanted to touch himself, let alone get touched by someone else. It’s not that Shannon isn’t aware that Jared is a shallow little shit, always has been, he sees the kind of people his brother hooks up with – there is a distinct pattern of beauty over intelligence or character – but he always thought that they had something deeper, something beyond pure physical attraction. 

Apparently he was wrong.

Shannon grabs his coffee, he lost his appetite and chuckles silently to himself because isn’t that just what Jared wanted. He has no doubt that his brother’s interest in him will come back as soon as they start practicing for a new tour, when Shannon can eat all he wants and still lose weight because he is hitting the drums like a maniac. But he isn’t convinced if he’ll take him back this time, because for him beauty is more than skin deep and as stunningly beautiful his brother is on the outside, Shannon is finding it hard to forget that that’s all there is.


End file.
